Birthday - 80th Post!

Today... is my 20th birthday. Yes, I wasn't ready to turn 20. But here I am...!

I am going through adult life. I am learning to become responsible and to take care of myself. 

I've started this blog to write about my interests and to share my art. To make new friends. But social media has been affecting me mentally which is why I took a long break away from it. I was still blogging, but no one really cared about checking it out. I returned on August 1st. I already brought it up in previous posts, but I do have friends IRL, but when I try to talk to them, sometimes we just have a short conversation. And making friends on social media has been hard. It's why I just don't trust people and why I don't follow back anymore unless I find them cool or I trust them fully. I just want real friends who understand how I'm feelin' and who simply care about me.

Another reason I took a break away from social media back in June/July is because of the struggle with getting art commissions. I have a Ko-fi and thanks to that, I went to TX at a convention called Kameha Con to meet my favorite voice actress there back in April. It was fun and it was nice to get out of the house to make new friends and to talk to others more. I got to walk around the hotel without my dad for the first time and my dad was happy. But now, no one really seemed to commission me anymore. I try my best putting art out there and some people even told me they might commission me but I just get sad when I see someone get an art commission which looks good than mine and I feel like no one truly wants to commission me (I felt like one person who commissioned me a lot left me). I've been active on Facebook, but I want to keep it a bit private. I'm not gonna add people I don't know or trust unless as I said before, I trust them.

I know I shouldn't get jealous and people tell me to not compare other's art with mine. It's why I felt frustrated and left social media to focus on my own series, which I cannot share because I need my works protected by copyright and my mom wouldn't let me share my characters. I've been focusing on the series since 2017 and I've just been feeling impatient ever since. I just don't want to draw more fanart and forget about my characters that I've been working on. I don't want to leave them in the dust. I am currently working on Chapter 3 and I never felt happy, even though I have some struggles such as backgrounds, certain angles on characters (back, side views), perspectives, and hands.

Also, I started to get sick, luckily it was a cold at the start of August. And I had heartburn for the first time. I felt upset and mad because of how badly timed my cold came in as my dad pressured me to take medicine and made me get rest, but it's for my health as I have asthma. I had to put new fanart on hold until I recovered a bit. But I am doing better now.

I also don't want to return to YouTube anymore. I'm tired of posting videos there. The site isn't good anymore plus I've dealt with copyright claims before. I'm still paranoid that my channel will be gone someday as I seen Youtubers get terminated for no reason, which scares me. One person commented on one of my new videos, just talking about my old Pokémon edit which got recommended by some people and it made me mad that I blocked them. I have been dealing with computer issues which is why some of my videos aren't edited and are mostly recorded on my iPad. And I don't want my parents finding out I have a channel, I'm worried. Some of my video ideas will be on this blog instead.

But those are my struggles. I apologize for all of that. But for the good: I am doing well in college as I had completed my Psychology class back on August 11th. I am still drawing, still making new fanart, still happy. I'm also becoming a voice actress in the future, just gotta practice more! I also got to see the new Dragon Ball movie on Sunday and met some VAs at Emerald City Comic Con. And if you go to my DeviantArt or Instagram, you can see how far I've come making art.

If you are reading this, thank you for staying with me. Thank you for appreciating and supporting me throughout. I hope you are understanding some of the struggles I am or I was going through. I am doing alright. Thank you. And if you're commenting  here, thank you for the birthday wishes and message.

Commissions and donations - appreciated!: ko-fi.com/wimbearn