Man...

I didn't know what to title this one.

Imagine putting 2 hours of hard work into a drawing. You tag your favorite actor in the drawing posting it online. Days later, you anxiously check the number of likes only to see that their @ is nowhere to be seen. You feel depressed. You feel down. All that hard work. Wasted. The drawing becomes a flop. Rarely, one or two of your followers leave a comment appreciating the artwork. You never look back at the drawing or the show or never want to hear that individual's name ever again. You later then delete the artwork off your drawing tablet for good.

That's how I feel with social media. It gives me so much anxiety, so much depression just hopping on it. It also makes me feel rejected with my art. Mainly, Instagram. When I had shared some convention photos from June and tagged several actors that I met, including one of my favorites, I did see two of the actors in my notifs like my posts, but the one favorite actor that I like? Never saw it. Even after sending DMs, nothing. Nothing at all. I even told her that I wanted to interview her when I gave her my drawing at the con, writing my email at the back of it, but it's been a month and I never heard back. I already tried reaching to her agent last year before I actually met her in-person this year, but never got a response. I feel ghosted.

I honestly hate to say this, but I want to call it quits with sharing my art online. But, I don't want to. I want to stay on because I have several people following me. I have supported several artists and voice actors, including my favorite voice actor of all time. Social media is calling me back, possessing me to stay on their platforms for good.

It's too anxiety inducing... what if I delete my account? What if I stay inactive for long. What if this... what if that... it's too flippin' much. Too overstimulating for me. The downsides is that I will be constantly comparing myself to other artists, who have more interactions than me. And I also want to bring up why I haven't been voice acting for months: the fear of rejection. Like my voice isn't good enough to be in this project. You see, I had submitted 10 or 11 voice auditions last year over at a website called Casting Call Club. I gave it my all, even going in Audacity to edit my .mp3s. And then I never hear anything. Dead silence. I anxiously check my email every day to see if I got accepted. Nope. That's why I haven't hopped back on CCC in a while.

Well, the positive thing about last year relating to my voice acting is that I voiced a character named Sasha in a 4-part LEGO horror project and I had a blast with recording her lines. I was happy that I finally voiced a character who had speaking lines and not just some random person who's only dialogue is some background laughter (the BG laughter was my very first VA role, but I don't know if the project is still going on or what happened to it).

Back to the topic of being online on social media, Bluesky was my best Twitter alternative after all these changes to X ruined the site, leading me to private my account. I used to have so many interactions on my art. But, that all fizzled out maybe around the later half of 2025. My interactions died down. It made me not want to touch Bluesky anymore. I hate the trend of flocking to a new social platform because "this social media platform is ruined!". I did it with Cara when it blew up and people were using it, which I slowly seen less interactions on there maybe in 2025 or late 2024 and again, Bluesky. 

Tumblr is dead to me... whenever I talk about my comic, not counting my own likes and reblogs from my main blog, the interactions are like cobwebs. But, if I post a piece of fanart, then it starts moving... for like 2-3 days and then the interactions wear off. I think this was last year when I posted it, but what kept me from using the site less was when I had made a mental health video using a puppet I made of one of my characters. It was wholesome and harmless, and even my IRL friend reached me on Instagram telling me that the video helped them. When I was working on my comic's website, updating previous posts, I saw that the video was falsely flagged for a stupid reason (the post was embedded). It made me angry. Another reason for me using Tumblr less is because of the fandom... back when I used to post GIFs on my main Tumblr blog, I always checked the notifications and I don't know when this happened, but I could now see the hashtags on reblogged posts in the notifs. I would see hashtags that made me so uncomfortable that I stopped checking notifications. I also used to do asks, but after one user sounded rude to me (after I unfollowed them since I wasn't interested in their content + they ignored my ask I sent them) in the asks and bot asks relating to a war (I forgot what it was) telling me to donate, I disabled them permanently. 

Oh, DeviantArt. I used to check notifications but not anymore because I rarely use the website. I'm tired of seeing the same "cool" comment on my art. Also, I have seen weirdos on the site. And there's an AI art generator... what the heck.

Threads... dead. Unless I talk off-topic, then suddenly I get interactions. *sigh*

Facebook... it can rot. Even though I have some followers on my page, I don't get seen at all. Nothing. It's like, I have to put in some money to boost my posts., kinda like a pay-to-play game. I refuse to do it.

Finally, the platform I use the most, Instagram. It used to be good for me, but they ruined it to the ground. I avoid looking at my homepage because now, it's filled with people I don't follow. Sometimes, I accidentally like their posts even though I don't follow them. When I hop on this app, I look away so I don't see my homepage and click on the profile button. As for posting my art, it usually gets 10-20 likes and no interactions. If I talk off-topic, like Threads, it suddenly gets more. I don't get it.

I also hate how every platform is being TikTok now. Like, short-form content does well than long-form content. It makes me despise making shorter videos. Editing is just a waste of time and maybe time-consuming.

For those who care about my comic and want to know why I haven't been talking about for days (even scrubbing the name of the comic off of my profiles if you've noticed) with the blog and website being silent, well, that will be another time. I'm staying silent on that question.

Social media just makes me hate my art. It makes me not want to draw anymore. It even makes me not want to continue voice acting. I think yesterday or Thursday, I had shared a depressing quote on my Instagram story. Speaking of drawing, I want to mention that I think the quality of my art has suffered ever since I've been feeling down for weeks, having lack of sleep at times. Compare my art from the past (not from the beginning when I got online) where some of my drawings would take two days to complete to now. 

There will be two more drawings in August; unsure of a birthday post on the 26th online. If you're reading this blog post, thank you for supporting me for this long, but I don't know if I will continue being online. It's too frustrating and too dang overstimulating.

-wimbearn