Looking at the Future...

Welcome to February.

So, this is big and exciting: I am almost finished with college! On the road to graduation. I only need some more classes to take.

And when I'm done... what will I do next?

Finding a job and working in public is what I'm afraid of. My dad really wants me to find a job. I have the worst anxiety and I don't get along with others sometimes. I don't make eye contact with other people. I'm just... a quiet and shy person.

The world is a scary place to me. The internet is scary too (mostly Twitter which I'm not on much anymore because of my timeline being so negative). It's why I'm mostly introverted and I have some trust issues (I don't trust other people online unless they've been truly kind to me). I like to do my own things. Draw. Voice act. Where do I do those things? In my room, with my door closed. 

The only time I'll go out is at a convention to meet cosplayers and voice actors or to the movies or if I find an event interesting. Speaking of conventions, although I didn't go to none last year, I plan to go to one I always go to in my state this year.

I have fears of catching that virus... I don't want to hear about it either... but I'm still safe and masked up; I even hand sanitize. I try to avoid the news because it brings my mental health down. And I get shaky and scared when I hear the virus' name. My mom had it last year, but she's recovered from it.

Another thing, my own comic which I copyrighted last year, I still have no idea when it will be released. I can't give out characters and stuff just yet. I'm working with my auntie who is also an author but she has been super busy which is causing it to get delayed. It's been making me anxious and impatient... I don't want another person to ask me when will my comic be released. I'm still typing the transcript to volume 2, but I'm holding off from illustrating it in the Procreate app on my iPad. This is my first time self-publishing. I rather not give away my characters to some random company because I'm afraid of losing creative control and rights. I don't know what they'll do: make spinoffs of my characters or prequels and making so much money off of it. I have so many ideas for my own IP.

Self-publishing has been a struggle so far. It's gonna be a lot of money for me to save up and have a company print out the pages of my comic. That's what I heard from my auntie so far. But I've been distracted spending it on other things, mostly for college, which is tough. I try to push art commissions and donations on my Ko-fi but that never works (I even link my Ko-fi at the end of my posts). I don't know what to do. It's frustrating. And since this is original art, people will leave because they only care about the fanart I draw.

It's like I'm in a sea of bigger artists. I'm the smaller fish surrounded by big fishes. I don't like to compete with others though... but whenever I see someone with so many likes, I take a break away from social media. I know they say not to compare yourself to others, but it's tough.

As for voice acting, I really haven't been posting much. I always tell myself, "my voice isn't good" because of how deep it is; it's hard for me to do higher, girly voices. But I've gotten advice from voice actress Elise Baughman on her Facebook page and took notes of her advice as one of my goals for 2024 and watched some random documentaries on animation (some which includes voice actors). So I'm gonna plan on practicing more voice acting. I really want to do voices for projects and stuff.

More goals for me: not to get distracted and to keep focusing on the things I love. Focus more on my own original IP and characters. And to complete college. Also, get into sewing more because I'm making something for myself.

Finding a job or running a business... I don't know. It's scary especially with me having Asperger's and anxiety. 

Well, that's all I have to say. Take care.

ko-fi.com/wimbearn

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Writing prompt:

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

Perfect writing prompt for this post. I rarely do these.

Already said it, but just going out in public with a lot of people unless it's a fun event or a convention. I prefer a smaller convention with less people. I've already been to two cons with plenty of people. As long as I'm masked and safe, I'm good.